I vaguely remember being aware of this show “thirtysomething” that ran from 1987-1991 as a kid.
I’d love to be able to watch it now. All my life, I thought that when I reached my thirties I would have become comfortable in my skin, and be able to just live through the ups and downs without worrying about trying to discover myself. Almost 3 years into my thirties, I have found that this is not the truth. In fact, I sometimes feel as if I’ve lost bits of myself that were/are really, really important.
It seems like Oprah or somebody said that 50 is the new 30. I sure hope I don’t have nearly 20 more years before I’m settled in who I am and am supposed to be in this world. Lord help me if that’s true.
I haven’t been writing here much because, honestly, so much has changed. I don’t want to disappoint my readership. There is no garden to report about. No exciting adventures for the summer. I haven’t been hiking this year. It’s simply the daily grind, and I’m struggling even with that. I’m searching. I’m in search party mode. Flashlights out. Calling… calling a name with no answer… not giving up. I won’t sleep until I’m found.
I am very much enjoying my work and the folks I’m working with. It is a light in this time, and I think its important work. I’m pretty dedicated to it. John is opening a tattoo parlor and fine art gallery on Main St. in Whitesburg beginning tomorrow! That’s exciting.
Otherwise… everything is up in the air. I’m wondering when I am able to break the surface and reach that air, who I will be. I’m wondering if I will be brave enough to write about it here.
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June 28, 2011 at 5:52 pm
Sara Evans
Hi, I read your blog occasionally, I love that you write from the heart and do not try to sugar-coat life. It’s funny that I happened to come here today, because I am at a similar point in my life! I am 33 and am still coming to terms with my life as a mother, partner and individual. I too have no garden this year, which is different from years past. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.
June 28, 2011 at 9:05 pm
Kelli
Thanks Sara!
June 30, 2011 at 1:26 am
Majal
Hi Kelli!
I have been reading your blog since I discovered it over a year and a half ago. I just wanted to let you know that what you have to say always resonates with me, and I find myself often aspiring to be more like you in many ways! I’m not married yet, nor do I have any children, but I find the lifestyle you live to be one that I am very much trying to attain, too. I love the idea of homesteading, of being in touch with whatever it is that makes us all a woman, and feel very proud and comfortable in that skin, too.
Anyways, in all this rambling, I guess I am just trying to say that maybe you’ve already found yourself/arrived!
Also, I wanted to say congrats on being published recently! I saw that come across facebook and I read your story online. It was so so great!
Best wishes!
Majal
July 2, 2011 at 5:54 pm
Kelli
Majal,
I’ve arrived where I am, but I don’t think I’ve arrived in the since you mean. I’m so glad you enjoy the blog. That means alot. There are lots of things I love about our life. I’m about to write about it now actually, but I also feel like I’m overwhelmed by this sense that something just ain’t right. It ain’t right because I’m an odd piece in the puzzle. I’ll get it figured out though. I love life too much not to.