Scattered

I am shifting my priorities once again as some things are becoming quite clear to me.  My first responsibility is to my family and my home.  That is all there is to it.  Always the needs there come first, and as my daughters are getting older I am needing to grow in some areas of my mothering – most importantly in discipline.  My work around our home needs to continue with added fervor.  As much as I have the grand desire to “be” a writer, I have to realize that I need to have patience with it, and make the time I spend pursuing my writing count.  I’ve wasted too much time in this area of my life, mainly on the computer.  I don’t like being on the computer much, so it’s no wonder that it makes me anxious much of the time I’m on it.  The truth is I “am” a writer whether or not I am spending eight hours a day writing or only two doing it.  As long as I am working toward something, progress will be made.

Yesterday, I harvested all the remaining scallions and carrots.  They were turning too ripe in the ground.  I scrubbed clean and topped all the carrots and washed and and chopped all the onions.  I ended up with 3 gallons of carrots and 3 pint bags of chives and a gallon of bulbs.  John is hoeing the area where these were planted as I type this, and we are going to put in some fall crops.  I have plenty of seed for the planting.

I also am putting away more cucumbers as pickles.

We ate some on our burgers last night.  They are so yummy!  Check out the newest post at Nourished Kitchen today to learn more about ferment canning and pickles.

With all the changes going on in my mind, and some regret, my thoughts are scattered over here and yonder.  I’m torn between little time and all the things I love because of this feeling of immediacy.  My children will only be small once.  My husband and I will only have this year together once.  I only have so much time to pursue all these dreams.  Time is so infinite and yet so finite as well.  I wonder if it is wrong of me to place so much value to what I do while a resident of earth.  It doesn’t matter in the end… does it?  I mean, as long as I leave the smallest of footprints, serve the God of my beliefs, and raise the next generation well.  Anything else is a side note.

Other than my family and my home, my next priority has to be to my health in both the physical and emotional aspects.  I have another doctor’s appointment coming up to re-check my thyroid.  I never thought I’d say I look forward to a doctor’s appointment, but I do.  I’m tired of not feeling normal.  In seeking health, have really developed a fondness for yoga more and more as the days pass.  It is a great form of combining the physical with the spiritual.  I feel like I am more open to hearing God, and I find myself seeking my Creator with a renewed enthusiasm.  Yoga is perfect for the busy mama in that in its true essence you are combining the physical, mental, and spiritual components of your body into union.  You are destressing, becoming fit, and praying all at the same time.  Yoga means “union”.

When my family is happy, my home comfortable, and I am at peace with myself and the life my God would have me to lead, then anything else I want to do in my life will have a stronger foundation.  It will grow from a place of confidence.  It won’t manifest out of some fear that if I don’t do it now that it will never happen.  The final product of anything I do in the creative realm will be better.

Growth is the ultimate goal… for all of us.