With three doctors’ visits this week, dealing with insurances and the lack thereof, filling prescriptions that I’m unsure of, and getting completely ticked off at western medicine’s approach to ill health, my mind is left soggy – like a saturated sponge. I have sat down three times today to write a post and realized I don’t have much to say at all and what I do have to say probably won’t be all that coherent. Not being negative, just stating the truth.
On A Silent Sea is doing awesome work over on her blog. She has gotten me thinking with her new pledge of reading deprivation. A clearing of the mind from outside influences on our creative capacities. Overload is one reason we moved back to the mountains and in an isolated place. Off grid was where we wanted to be, so that if we didn’t want to be reached we wouldn’t have to be. Yet, I’ve found myself getting so excited over so many different things, and wanting to tackle them all at the same time.
This morning John told me I’m dabbling in too many projects and it is causing me to lose focus. He’s right. The problem is I have a hard time choosing just one when they are all so inviting and fun. It leaves me feeling like I’d be losing something. Maybe, I’m losing something by not focusing on just a few things. Or, maybe I’m overanalyzing, reading too much, and I need a time away from learning new things. There should be time for listening to what your heart and mind already knows. I rarely do that. Very rarely.
Where we live we are surrounded by mountains on all sides in close proximity to our cabin. The vegetation is mature and on its downward movement from growing forth from the earth to becoming the earth. We see no one else’s house. We are familiar with a family of deer that grazes close by every evening. Our first tomatoes are on the vines. Birds of all sorts play in the sunflowers growing in our garden outside our picture window everyday showing off their gorgeous array of styles and colors. Being off grid invites you to just be, but in my self somewhere lies a part that wants to control things to insure my safety. I’m constantly reading for entertainment, information, trying to gain more knowledge about whatever is the hit subject at the moment. I’m afraid to be quiet. To do nothing but everything. I have to stop and take the time to just be with my breath. To listen inside and stop feeding myself with new things that will overload me. I need to take an inventory. It’s time.
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August 21, 2009 at 11:51 pm
tipper
I like your thoughts on taking inventory-and stopping the new stuff for a while to think. I need that too.
August 23, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Angie
Oh Kelli, beautiful post. So true, so true. I started a blog 3 times before I kept going with the one I have now because I kept reading these other blogs that made life seem so perfect. Of course, this invited comparison on my end and I started feeling depressed, inadequate, etc. I went on a “diet” from those types of blogs and feel SO MUCH better and have much more gratitude for what I DO have now.
You sound like you are in a very sanguine state right now! Have you read much about temperaments? I am sanguine too and have trouble finishing things, I flit from project to project…it could be situational for you but it also might be temperament…such a good reminder…to take stock, to stop “flitting” for awhile…to rest and digest.
August 23, 2009 at 10:59 pm
eastkentuckygal
I would never in a million years have labeled myself sanguine. The only real reading I’ve ever done on the temperaments is the article you copied for us. I know my first level is melancholic. I was thinking I’m a bit choleric. All this freedom lately though has left me with space to fill I guess. Like a release. Wow, sanguine. What a thought. 🙂
August 24, 2009 at 11:15 pm
meorthethoughtofme
where might i find information on temperaments? this sounds interesting.
August 25, 2009 at 1:11 am
eastkentuckygal
Here is an article Rudolf Steiner wrote on the temperaments. http://wn.rsarchive.org/Lectures/19090304p01.html
This one is a chart like thing, but it seems to read that if you aren’t sanguine then there’s something wrong with you.
http://www.openwaldorf.com/temperaments.html
It is interesting. Our Parent/Child teacher copied an article for us on the temperaments in parenting. It’s a really good read. I’ll have to get that info for you, or I could mail you a copy.
August 23, 2009 at 10:10 pm
theycallmejane
Your statements here ring so true for me. Thanks for the reminders. It also reminded me of a book you might enjoy – See You In A Hundred Years by Logan Ward (http://www.loganward.com/) I think you might really enjoy it.
August 24, 2009 at 11:14 pm
meorthethoughtofme
“Maybe, I’m losing something by not focusing on just a few things.”
I definitely realized that over this past week.
August 25, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Morgan
Kelli, this is a wonderful post. So often when I visit your blog, I find that you are writing about things that have been on my mind as well.
I just got a new job, one that is part-time so that I will have more time to write and pursue various writing projects/ideas. This is my first week with my mornings free and I am trying to get some sort of organization, some sort of focus going. Still, I am also cutting myself some slack since I know it will take me a bit to get adjusted to the new schedule and work on finding my direction.
August 25, 2009 at 8:45 pm
Fun Mama - Deanna
You so often are writing just what I’ve been thinking! I’ve noticed that for me, going to the library is something of a problem. I get interested in so many things, and check out so many books – art for kids, crafts, sewing, crochet, writing, how to teach toddlers, etc. And all at the same time! Most of them I don’t even end up reading. Deep breaths, right?
August 30, 2009 at 10:08 pm
meorthethoughtofme
i’d love to have a copy of the article! just shoot me an email and i’ll send you my address!