I’m exhausted.  The girls are exhausted and sleeping.  Today, has been a whirlwind.  This week for me has been very much immersed in paying attention to our in breaths and out breaths and when they are needed.  Rhythm.  An activity that is active or one that is quiet and reflective.  Balance.  We’ve had more steady rhythm since we began focusing on homeschool and doing an active Circle Time.  This week I’ve been working on adding in regular meal and snack times for the girls and a bedtime of 8pm with a consistent routine.

The last two days have really shown me what an inconsistent rhythm can do to a child.  I think before I was blind to the chaos it caused and thought that’s just how it goes for us.  Last night we were fortunate enough to visit with my Aunt Sharon for a few hours after Deladis’s dance class.  She had come to Kentucky for just a few days and had brought us some homeschool crafting goodies.  We didn’t get back home until 9pm and the girls weren’t in bed until 10pm.  It was the first night since Sunday that bedtime was not 8pm.

Then, today we had a beautiful morning Circle Time.  The girls have been enjoying the new autumn theme.  We are readying for our first family festival and the local fall festivals.  Deladis sung one of our songs loud and clear with me today.  Her voice rang out and I think I really heard her unhindered singing voice for the first time.  I smiled.  I had a light heart.

The next veering from our rhythm was when Ivy had to skip her nap and I my regular yoga time.  We had a homeschool group meeting, as we have found one that is near enough to us. (Yay!!)  It was our first time going, and the girls played so hard.  Yet, little inklings of unrest crept into their countenance.  I knew it was about to turn for the worst when Deladis dropped her scoop of ice cream and when she went to ask for another and wasn’t heard, she stuck her face out and screamed an angry “HEY!” at the mother that was dishing out the scoops.  From there, every little bump or fall, she screamed like she had been stung by a bee.

We got home, and I realized I hadn’t eaten since breakfast.  It was about 4pm.  We decided to go out to eat since I had to go to the store anyway.  Ivy cried the whole supper and John had to take her outside.  It was so loud that the restaurant manager gave Ivy his bobble head ink pen to try to calm her.  As soon as we were home, the girls made it known they needed a bedtime.  Them in bed, I sat down to write this realizing how much being in the midst of that and trying to hold it together has wore me out, and understanding what our past has been.

So, I’ve learned that rhythm is a great thing.  It is worth it to have a balance in our daily routine.  It’s healthy.  In more ways than not, things have went smoothly this week.  I now know that I need to find ways to help the girls when our rhythm will be interrupted and to make sure those times are kept to a minimum.

I have also learned that in order to have a rhythm, it pays to be somewhat organized.  I have gone back and forth about whether or not we need a written schedule.  Now, I’m thinking again that we do, or at least a daily plan.  Making regular mealtimes has brought back meal planning into the picture as well.  It seems like a lot of work, but it’s suppose to make the home a more peaceful place.  So, I’m assuming eventually it will be second nature and I’ll realize how much easier it makes my job as a mother and how much less “discipline” the girls need.  Parenting is really a trial in personal growth.  I’ve never had to grow up so much in  my life, while still trying to think like a kid. 🙂

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