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None of my three daughters have been interested in baby food. After my first was born, I decided not to fool with it at all. So, with Ivy and Gwen and by default with Deladis, I have practiced baby-led weaning.
Baby Led Weaning, quite simply, means letting your child feed themselves from the very start of weaning. The term was originally coined by Gill Rapley, a former health visitor and midwife. – Baby-Led Weaning: The Mush Stops Here
The term “weaning” is used in the British sense on this website and does not mean ending nursing (breastfeeding). It simply means introducing solid foods.
Deladis’ first swallowed food was cucumber. Ivy’s was avocado, and Gwen’s was peas. For Gwen, it is more about exploring the texture and the taste of the food. She rarely swallows it. I have noticed her increasing the amount going in to the stomach little by little.
I also do child-led weaning. “Weaning” in this use means end of nursing. Child-led means that the child dictates when the breastfeeding relationship will end unless the mother becomes uncomfortable and ready to wean prior to that time. Deladis stopped nursing at 2 years and 6 months. Ivy did at 2 years and 2 months. It worked out beautifully for our family. My girls have rarely needed antibiotics and are generally very healthy and strong. I love nursing my babies and fortunately I’ve had an relatively easy go of it. With Deladis I had some difficulties in the beginning, but once they were worked out, I had no more problems. The key is when problems do arise to seek help if your remedies do not solve the problem.
Child-led weaning is actually in tune with the American Academy of Pediatrics breastfeeding recommendations.
“Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk,” published in the March 2012 issue of Pediatrics (published online Feb. 27), the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) reaffirms its recommendation of exclusive breastfeeding for about the first six months of a baby’s life, followed by breastfeeding in combination with the introduction of complementary foods until at least 12 months of age, and continuation of breastfeeding for as long as mutually desired by mother and baby.
Anyhow… all this to say that this is what baby-led weaning looks like in our home. 🙂 Happy Sunday!
Yep, I “gommed” up a strawberry.
And now I get a bath in front of some nice moist heat and a picture window looking out on the sunny Sunday!
Today I gathered the three of you around
to apologize
Not a new path, but a re-commitment
To your youth
the path we now walk together
until your womanhood
forging your own
A re-commitment to your soft skin
your innocence
the sweet knowing that peers out from behind your eyes
An acknowledgment of the importance of
now
that Spirit entrusted me with your well-being
The original intent
going back to the ground from which I was formed
you were formed
To learn there
in the warmth of a sun cut by the limbs of trees
A re-commitment to out foremothers
their well trodden path
not a new path
Today, Confluence Herbals and Spiritual Coaching is born, and I feel the relief and exhaustion that comes after the labor that is listening to Spirit.
Trail to Bad Branch Falls
Winter in the mountains is not for the faint of heart. As much as I tend to dread the heat of the summer, it is most always an allowing sort of weather. Winter brings further isolation for a mother of small children. While a romp in the snow is fun, it only lasts about 10 -20 minutes for my girls before they holler – COLD.
This winter though has been more than mild. I feel like more days than not we’ve been able to get outside. This is our fifth day in a row without leaving the Confluence and I was so grateful to get to take a walk and see some sun. The last snow is melted off and only leaves some heavy icicles hanging from the cliff sides.
I did really well with isolation when we first moved back to the mountains. But, now, I remember how easy it was as a teenager for me to get sad about not being able to be with friends. I’m a loner at heart, but even for someone like me, there can be too much alone. I remain the only woman on the place. John and I are the only family. The other full time resident on the holler is a bachelor, and for our landlord this is a warm weather home where his family comes to visit. So, when I see someone, it is usually a man. A very helpful, kind, and fun to talk to man, so I’m not complaining. No way. But, sometimes girl talk would be nice. I find myself missing the little community of mothers that the city gave me. Folks to trade babysitting duties with for date nights. I haven’t had one of those in a long, long time. Hanging out with my sister and best friend on weekends. I think that is what I miss most about the city. That and access to decent food (organics and such) on a regular basis. I don’t know how to describe it really because I do know people here, and in our homeschool groups. I see the homeschool families monthly. Yet, time and opportunity for those deeper connections is short. We are all spread out so.
I dream of an intentional community where I can still live privately, yet, work as a part of a functioning group that is there for one another. I’m feeling kind of down this winter. No, winter in the mountains is not for the faint of heart.
Last week, we were away from home for most of the week. It was Science Week for Confluence Academy. We had to take one of the family to see a doctor in Lexington and we had two field trips while there and then two more when we got back to the mountains.
Here is a captioned pictorial review of our adventures! I must say that at The Living Arts and Science Center there was an awesome forest exhibit that was so engrossing I forgot to take pictures. There was a worksheet to take you through each station and a probing question. It was perfect and the girls had crazy fun. Not to mention it was FREE!
We really had a great trip and it was much needed.
Getting cozy in a fluffy hotel bed.
Exploring the impact of paper on our forest friends with an endangered species and recycling exhibit at The Living Arts and Science Center.
Making an endangered Noonday Snail figure for play.
I found my friend’s habitat!
Enjoying some kinetic energy at Monkey Joe’s!
Big sissy jumps too fast to catch her airtime.
I take what my big sissies call Move Your Body classes at Confluence Academy. Today I am exploring the function of my hands.
Tired in a sea of green downy softness.
Some bearded dragon action at The East Kentucky Science Center in Prestonsburg, Kentucky. We also saw a planetarium show, and experienced hurricane winds in a simulator. We bought some fancy polished rocks and astronaut ice cream for an inexpensive treat.
My 5 Senses! Ivy having fun at the preschool work table during Science Day at Kentucky Mountain Homeschool Association’s monthly meeting.
Discovering just how well Dawn dish soap repels grease (fat). Also, during Science Day for KMHSA.
On the second, I started a post about the fact that I have actually made some New Year resolutions for 2013. I was excited while writing, and at the same time feeling a bit ridiculous. Gwen started fussing and I stopped writing. Then, yesterday was a difficult one for us. Ivy has started crying a lot throughout the day on most days for reasons so numerous that I’d have to write a book to describe it all and then some she just makes up on the spot. I’ve been told that it is middle child syndrome, but I’m not satisfied with that answer.
It was the first sunny day in weeks, so I made sure the girls went outside for a bit of play. However, Deladis decides that since they play in the creek during the summer, it would be a good idea to wade the creek in January in her new snow boots and Ivy in tennis shoes. I had a hard time with patience and the fact that I thought she would know better. There coats were thrown off in the floor. Their wet clothes thrown in the floor. I sit Gwen down to pick that up and to remind them that they also know where their clothes go, and she cries.
She doesn’t like to sit on her own much. I have about 10 minutes before I have to get her back up. She, like Deladis, is a spirited child. She doesn’t like to take naps, though she’s a decent night sleeper. Generally, a lot like her biggest sister. Like my sister reminded me that evening on the phone, “You’ve never had a laid back child.”
This was after Deladis cried during our first day back at school because she didn’t complete something perfectly. I wrestled Gwen through her fusses while trying to read Deladis her lessons, shifting Gwen from floor, to lap, to clothes basket. Right after, Ivy cries like a wild banshee because I ask her to tell me her ABCs. She says, “I’m too scared.” Same little girl that will dance in front of 100 people, won’t say her ABCs for her mother who is just curious at how well she knows them.
By the middle of the day, I was feeling like a failure of a mother. For sure, there was something bigger that needed to be fixed. I needed to just stop daydreaming about plans and things I needed to get done. The pile of dishes in the sink. My New Year resolutions, and pay minute detail to what spurs these fits. I felt bad for believing that I could tack yet more things onto my already determined to do list when I was already not doing that well.
Yet, I found reassurance from a group of mamas on Facebook. I realized that if I can turn it into a positive it is fine. I’m not failing, just seeing room for improvement. I talked to my sister, who rubbed her two laid back kids in my face, while talking about how grown up the not so laid back one is getting to be. 😉 And, I felt better. Not like it was the end of all I wanted to accomplish, but still just the beginning.
See, it is easy from these blogs and social media posts… and from mothering forums… Pinterest… to think that this parenting/homeschooling gig is a great accomplishment. But, what we often miss out on is how dag gone hard it can be sometimes. For, on this, we mostly see the end results. Our kids dressed in the play costumes, with their basketball trophy, the cool cake we made for their birthday, all the boxes of stuff I’ve managed to purge out of our cabin. We don’t see as often the work that got us there. And so, when the results simply aren’t there on any given day. It can feel like a loss. What do we have to post about that day? Sure don’t want to sound like you are complaining. There is no room for complaining in such a blessed life. How dare you feel like raising your voice or crying?!
The truth is… my list of resolutions is boring. I have quite a few, and I’m not cutting it down. The interesting stuff is the doing. The grunt work. For that is where our accomplishment is – the fact that we get up in the morning ready to do it all again. We’ve not abandoned our post. We’ll be there for those beautiful little souls when we wake up in the morning. Deladis always gets up before me now days. We haven’t and aren’t giving up.
As my friend reminded me of tonight. “I just think of it like this. Such a strong willed child will one day grow up to make one heck of a strong woman.” Amen, sister… Amen.
So, this year this blog is about the doing. Forget what I plan to do. I’ll share with you and record for my girls what we actually do and how we get it done. That’s the point – right?
Below is the start of my resolutions post….
I’m not one to make resolutions in the New Year. I never really have, or if I did I wasn’t serious enough about it to remember it right now. 2012 was a special year for me. I had my third daughter at home in one of the most beautiful experiences possible – an HBA2C. I accomplished something so very amazing for me and my beautiful daughter, our health and well-being, and am forever changed.
I called it my Jesus year. I was 33 for most of it. I discovered just how powerful a spiritual practice can be. I had the chance to pull back, reassess, and now I have come out with a plan.
My last post was all about my inspiration to be re-motivated for most of these resolutions. Many of them aren’t new, but things that have served me in the past, and will again.
1. Recommit to eating a Traditional Foods diet. (Being pressed for time and tired during the last months of pregnancy I haven’t been cooking from scratch as much as I’d like.)
2. Simplify our living space. Look what I am purging so far. I’m just getting started. 🙂
3. Organize what is left of the cabin and create a sanctuary for living. I’m making a designated school and office space in the living room! Our space is small and if you’ve followed me when I wrote here before, you know this is something that I am constantly working on. Yet, in this case, I have a new strategy, and am approaching it from a different mind set. It’s going to be fun! I’ve gotten some tremendous inspiration from some DIY homebuilding friends who have built a beautiful home at minimum cost and almost all on their own. I am still inspired by this home I toured in New Echota a few years ago.
My favorite kitchen of the day in the Worcester House at New Echota
4.
This is a pen and ink drawing John did of me picking through the carrot harvest in October. It was close to my birthday I think. I’m ready to take this stance any day now for planting season. It was spitting some snow today though, after a glorious weekend. Deladis can’t seem to get over our “family time”, and honestly her mother can’t either.
It seems like our “family time” is too here and there. This weekend I think we were all ready just to be there for each other, and it felt perfect. Saturday we went to the Mexican restaurant to eat, then to play with some ferrets at the pet store. After that, we went to the Isom Vendor’s Mall where I found a book that I had checked out from the library, hadn’t finished, and was hoping to buy at some point, for two dollars. It was one of those things where the Creator is putting things and people in my path to show me that this new path I have come across is ok and worth exploring. I now own a copy of the book. Then, we went to an ice cream shop in Vicco where Deladis got chocolate chip cookie dough, and Ivy birthday cake ice cream. Deladis said, “This ice cream sure tastes fresh.” Next, we went to a music store for John some strings.
Sunday, we went to church, came home, had supper, then walked up on the cemetary hill for a sweet snack. Lars and Lucky followed us as always. We sat, talked, and enjoyed the moss and the view. Deladis said, “I just love our family time.”
While it seems so simple, it isn’t. It feels new. It feels good. John and I both got a little more regular paying/scheduled jobs after Christmas this year, and this has allowed days like this weekend. This change has put us both to thinking, as change can often do, about what is possible, and what our priorities are.
Family and faith should receive most of my time. One day I’ll be eye to eye with two grown women, and I don’t want to wonder where those days in between went. I can scramble and fight, and try to do my thing, but if the thing isn’t the right fit at the right time, no amount of scrambling or fighting will get me anywhere. The time I gave to that goal, will be for naught because I was too set in my ways to think of an alternative route. Or a more favorable goal.
I’m excited about the days ahead. The possibilities and even getting out of this tight coat I’ve been wearing for far too long. Spring has sprung. The bushes outside have buds. There are more activities to be found. And we are renewing ourselves – as a family.
One new thing I’m doing is offering online Lamaze Childbirth Preparation classes and Early Pregnancy classes for any woman anywhere with any schedule. 🙂 Thinking outside the box. For more information http://birthtrue.wordpress.com/online-classes-e-courses
Deladis’s kindergarten year is going well. We are on a relaxed and spontaneous kind of schedule, though still very regular. She has almost learned to write all her numbers through ten! This week we sang songs themed around boats, “Michael Row Your Boat Ashore” and “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”. We read our Little Jewel Book on water and the counting nature walk. We worked in the garden, and checked on the little frog pond to see the tadpoles sprouting their back legs. Last year, I ordered Little Acorn Curriculum. It was structured much like what we are doing now, but this time it is coming from my head. Yes, my head! I am really learning how to teach little littles. (My formal teaching experience is with 7th and 8th grades.) I can hardly believe this week in truth.
Thursday we made paper boats. I looked up a video on YouTube to show us how.
We folded two out of heavy cardstock, and took them to the creek to float.
The creek runs along a little coal seam in spots.
The girls were mighty pleased with the results.
We enjoyed our Thursday so much, we decided to do some splashing in the creek (last year’s Hillbilly Waterpark). We found one of the remaining wild blackberry bushes in a snake safe spot by the creekbank and Ivy ate every ripe berry there was to be found. I learned my lesson on being an ambitious blackberry picker last season too. It was a lovely day, and I took the time to really enjoy my girls. Kay, from Random Musings From My POV keeps telling me to do that. You know, I thought I was, but I wasn’t. I now know what it feels like to truly let loose and do that. Thanks Kay! It’s like nothing else in the world. They are blessings in this life.
Summer is such a great time for learning, and that is the great thing about homeschooling/unschooling, learning happens anytime, any place, any season. Now, I must be off to enjoy my girls before this day gets away from me. 🙂
Deladis was doing exercises yesterday to help her grow. They consisted of sprints, water bucket lifting, lunges off the porch, and lots of crossed legged butterflies. She’s excited about growing up, and I think has begun to realize that it is happening to her. She is comparing her growth nearly everyday by the marks we make in the kitchen door facing, asking, “How big am I now?”
She has growing pains some nights in her legs like I did at her age. She wants to learn “big” things. Deladis is amazed at seeing kids her size doing things on their own – like making treats, and riding bikes. She loves spending the night with her grandparents, away from mommy and daddy. It is moving kind of quickly for us now.
Backstage before her recital.
I talk to my niece, Jade, who will be 17 in November (much to the unsettledness of myself and her mother), and feel an ease that I felt with Deladis as a newborn. We talk about relationships, friends, books, and music – her trip to Europe at the end of the month. I’ve never been passed the Mississippi River (or even seen it really), north of Ohio, or south of Alabama, aside from flying to Anchorage, Alaska for a ball tournament when I was a freshman. The last time I saw the ocean I was ten. She is bright, truthful, and confident. I think about Deladis at that age, and I find myself looking forward to it – us being women together. As much as I lament her growing up, I’m finding joy in being a part of it. It wasn’t too long ago I held her in my arms in the dead of night wondering how I was ever going to make it through the next day without some sleep, and at the same time rejoicing that I was able to feed her from my breast, holding her sweet soul in my arms.
One day I will be witness to her soul’s impact on this world – on other souls. One day holding her will be a second’s worth of a hug. But, she will still be a part of me, and I will still be able to watch. Together we will be women. And I will enjoy her in a new way. My sweet girl – the star of her own show.
Her Papaw Hansel bought her flowers.
Ivy is no longer nursing (almost a week now). There are no real plans for more babies in my future. It is most certainly a time of letting go for me – of expectations I had for my life, my birth stories, my parenting skills, and my family. It’s time.
For more reading on growing up, visit The Breeder Files.
We have diddles - 9 in all.
It’s hot here folks, and I am enjoying the rain today. I finally have the pictures I promised.
The garden that is furthest along growth wise. We have 3. This is the only fenced one. We are already eating spinach, swiss chard, and broccoli from this plot.
Aren’t these peas just gorgeous?
I can’t wait for the pods… well, if it means loosing these blooms I can wait for a little while. 🙂 They make me think of Alice in Wonderland.
We bought fencing yesterday for the other plot by the barn. For the plot by the house (last year’s only garden), we are doing the low string and pie pans again. I’m hoping to get to work out there tomorrow. John’s uncle Ben suggested some barn repairs, and I hope that is underway soon. I am also waiting to hear about Farmer’s Markets to participate in.
In other news…. Deladis is still going strong on her start to her kindergarten year. I can most definitely say these few weeks have opened my eyes and made me realized that I have a lot to learn about teaching little ones. We are using a curriculum that is for preschool, but it is akin to kindergarten. The regular curriculum starts with Grade 1, but I haven’t seen a sample to know if I will use it for next year or not. I like it because it is nature/domestic based and spirituality has a part. The illustrations are non-commercial, but beautiful and real.
Deladis has been enjoying herself very much… when mommy isn’t being too uptight. One of the parental instructions suggested in the book is that children should complete work neatly. Proper posture and holding of the pencil should be practiced. She is just learning to write. Here we have dotted lines, and examples to trace. For me the instructions translated into when making them on her own the characters should be as large as those she traced. This especially came into play with the 3. The top should be at the top line. The middle in the dashes, and the bottom at the bottom line. She would make lovely, perfectly legible 3s that were much smaller. We’d erase and try again. Before long, she was crossing her arms and looking at me. I felt kind of ridiculous erasing her 3s that were out of proportion, but for some reason felt the need to make sure directions were followed. I went to message boards for advice. I found what I needed from the unschooling community ( I am looking into some application of that philosophy for our experience). The next day, we did 3 again. This time no erasing. Just reading directions. Deladis practiced on her own, and before I knew it, she was making a 3 similar to the one she traced. I had decided that I wouldn’t care. That I would let her explore the writing on her own after reading the workbook directions. She loves the workbook. She made me draw the riders on the horses in the picture. As you can tell with her coloring, nothing is outside the reach of her ability to imagine, create, understand, and transform. 🙂
This is what I have to remember. She learned to potty on her own. It happened when she was ready. On her own time. All I did was explain how we went about it, and gave her encouragement and help as she needed. There was no “training” involved. No, she wasn’t 18 months old and wearing underpants, but she was using it on her own in a reasonable time frame. After 2 weeks, there were no accidents. Why should learning anything else we need for growing up or adulthood or creativity or spirituality or work be any different?
Others suggested that she is too young to learn to write. They said I’m expecting too much of an almost 5 year old. Deladis asked to learn writing. She asked me to show her and help her to learn. She showed signs of academic readiness that I read about in my study of Waldorf education, though before her age. I had determined I’d follow her cue and embrace her eagerness as an opportunity for learning. I just need to supply her with resources, be there to read directions (until she can read them herself), offer ideas, demonstrate things, answer questions (or help find answers), and offer my help as she needs it. She will learn. She will learn because that is what we do, and because I as her mother and teacher am nurturing that ability in her. Not by erasing her 3s until they meet the criteria, but supporting her practice until they meet the standards that she sets, that is her personal best for her age, or until it is time to practice something else for awhile. I learned to let go a little of the thought of “teaching”. I watched that letting go help Deladis to learn through her own hand and observation. The “teacher” in me was impressed with her. Who knows where this journey will lead?
Today is a rainy Monday in the mountains. It’s been sweet though. I just got word that the first baby born whose parents completed my childbirth class series was born! The birth went wonderfully and mom and babe are doing great! This makes me smile no matter how hard it rains.
Birth for me is the biggest miracle. In everything pregnancy, labor, and birth is, you can’t deny that it is miraculous. I don’t care if you are the most spiritual person in the world, or think spirituality is a crock, I believe everyone agrees that the act of birth is amazing.
It was about 40 minutes ago today, two years ago that my water broke in Karma Cafe on busy Bardstown Rd. in Louisville, Kentucky while I waited with John and Deladis for our dinner and my journey to my Ivy began. She was born on the 28th at 2:12am chubby and red with a head full of black hair and fuzzy ear lobes.
I loved being pregnant. I loved my large, hard, round belly. I loved waiting for her and not knowing if she was a boy or girl. I loved labor. The ebbs and flows, as hard as some of the waves were to ride. To hold her was real rest. To nurse her was completion of a life cycle. To be her mother is a gift. Pregnancy and birth is a true gift.
A Mountain Mama - East Kentucky Gal 