My aunt Sharon and a few other people in my life have always stressed to me how powerful words are.  They have even went as far as saying we should never speak negative things unless we want them to happen.  For example, if you say you can’t do something, or you fear something, it leaves you open to attack.  The devil can’t know your inner most thoughts unless you verbalize them.  (That is how it was explained to me.)  I never took that explanation too seriously and even threw it off as hoo-doo.  I’m coming to realize though, that the words we speak often become what we believe.  Are we not linguistic creatures?  Our words are our most common form of expression.  We most often even think in words.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

– John 1:1

I am reading Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa’s book The Eight Human Talents.  The introduction to the book is one of the most beautiful I’ve ever read.  I typically don’t get into books on spirituality of any sort, but I have enjoyed her teachings and thoughts in the past and being that it is related to yoga and health, I thought I would try it out.  Trying to ground myself in my spirituality, realizing from where my strength comes, and coming to accept who I am right now, I feel is key to knocking the nagging feelings that try to invade my positive work and thoughts.  Sometimes it takes someone who you are not close to to open your eyes to something.  Gurmukh talks about words in her book.  She quotes the above Bible verse to bring it all home.

I believe the universe was created by divine intelligence.  I also believe in science, but I don’t think it explains the beginning of the beginning.  With every cell of my being, I believe we were planned as spiritual beings put on the earth to have a human experience, to chose for ourselves our own path, and to learn from the experiences that come about because of our choices.  My God spoke the universe into being.  Words.  Before I had words, I was a word in the heart of God.

Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou cameth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

-Jeremiah 1:5

This verse is often quoted by pro-life organizations without the part after the semi-colon.  I believe God knows all of us, and has plans for all of us.  The plans are the things we are capable of doing if we are willing to learn, seek a relationship with Him, and endure human life.  I like the second part of the verse as much as the part before.  I may not be a prophet to nations, but I believe I’m here for important things no matter how fleeting life is.  I am sanctified.

In the introduction of the book, Gurmukh makes the quote from Genesis in a section talking about mantras.  Mantras are phrases repeated or chanted over and over for the vibration of the sound and the peace of mind they give.  Now, this can make them seem mysterious, but the truth is we all have mantras.  Mine are, “why”, “I’m so tired”, “I never have any time to just sit and be”, and “it’s impossible for me to do anything important”.  I’ll say these things out loud when I feel a little stressed or wishing that life was different – easier somehow.  I am sabotaging my ability to be happy, truly happy, by saying these things.  You say something enough and you believe it.  It isn’t only something to say to complain.  It becomes the reality.

With speaking these negative things, we are creating that reality for ourselves.  The important time in our lives is now.  I have too many expectations of how things should be to be good.  Things that truly are wants, I’ve made into needs.  I’ve defeated every effort I’ve made in the past by focusing on what didn’t work instead of working with what does and what the current needs of the situation are.  I haven’t accepted who I am and my responsibilities in life because I am seeking things to be this unrealistic other.  God has given us all we need to find true joy.  There are no requirements outside of what we are born with.

Misery is a choice we can count on.  Misery is not elusive, it’s always there for us.

Gurmukh, The Eight Human Talents

It’s easy to be miserable.  It is almost like we train ourselves for it.  I am enjoying my yoga practice more and more all the time.  It gives me time to reconnect with God, and He as my strength.  I find myself looking at things with easier thoughts, approaching tasks in a more positive way, and being more peaceful.  It’s a place of trust that what I am doing right now is the most meaningful thing that I can possibly do.

Sunnydaytoday Mama posted this video on her blog, and it got me to thinking about how what my girls see me doing will impact their future.  I know my parents actions and how they coincided with their words, really gave me deeply ingrained habits and beliefs.  Becoming a parent makes it harder to live in the trappings of bad habits.  In order to parent from a place where you will give your child a positive experience, and instill in them morality, gratitude, respect for self and others, self confidence, and kindness, you have to be doing those things for yourself.  I’m enjoying this journey more and more all the time.  Old bad habits are truly hard to break.  They become part of who we are.  For so long, I’ve not recognized the joy, but chose to focus on the hardships.  Even pain has a wonderful purpose if we look at it with open minds and hearts.

Leslee Horner at Waiting for the Click, was the first to get me thinking in this direction through her blog.  I was wondering why so much negativity was creeping in when there really wasn’t anything to be down about.  I realized that it was coming from me and the lack of faith that I had in who I am through my Creator.

Going off the grid and making a go at homesteading is one of the most positive things to have ever happened to me.  I’m in my homeland.  I have two beautiful children.  I have a lovely husband.  I have time to write this blog.  I have an hour a day to refocus my attention, be physical, and healthy.  We have food, a roof over our heads, and clothes on our back.  I am rich.  I have such a rich life.